Alex in Wonderland
by E-ko
Summary: Alex, an angel, suddenly finds himself in a new, strange and bizarre world… So whatever will he do?


Disclaimer: The original story, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland respectfully belongs to Lewis Carroll. The characters I have used are copyright to myself, and some my friend, P-chan. You know the drill, please ask before using anywhere.  
  
Warnings: Mentioned and inquired shounen ai, drug use, general strangeness  
  
Fandom: Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll  
  
Alex's Adventures in Wonderland  
  
Alex in Wonderland  
  
Chapter I. Down the Fox Burrow  
  
It was a Sunday. A very, very lazy Sunday, Alex thought to himself. He sat and attempted to listen (He was extremely bored) to the drone of his mentor's voice, lecturing him on angelic this and angelic that. After all, he was the ruling Archangel in 6th Heaven and something or other. He had to know everything that could possibly pop up and disrupt him from his life. Every once in a while he would drift off again, then quickly snap back into reality. All of this official nonsense was so incredibly boring.  
  
Alexander thought to himself, as well as he could whether skipping his meeting that afternoon would be worth the trouble of calling in another sick day and dealing with them. He continued to think on what a lazy Sunday afternoon it was, and how his boyfriend, Cassiel, didn't like Sundays for some reason. Suddenly, a white fox darted past him and snapped him out of thought.  
  
Of course, that wasn't terribly remarkable and Alex didn't really think much of it, until he heard the fox utter to itself, "Oh dear! My furs and tail, I shall be so very late!" He wasn't quite sure whether the fox had actually said that, or maybe he'd been imagining it. Stranger things had happened in heaven, but his lesson was on the earth plain today, and such things didn't occur there. He pondered this until the fox took a golden watch out his red waistcoat pocket, glanced at the time and scurried off, after stated frantically that'd he'd be late.  
  
Alex stood to follow the questionable creature, and glanced back at where his mentor was. Well, he wasn't there for some reason or another, so Alex turned back to where the fox had gone. Maybe he'd just drifted off and his mentor went back to heaven.  
  
Now, even throughout heaven, the archangel had never seen a fox with a waistcoat-pocket, nor a golden watch to take out of it. With intrigued curiosity, he followed the little white mammal, and was just fortunate enough to see it disappear into a very large fox burrow.  
  
When Alex neared the fox burrow, it seemed much larger than it had from far away. even big enough for him. Now, he was quite a tall man, and a foxhole that large was quite a bit peculiar. It didn't go down into the earth either; it seemed like a little cave.  
  
He couldn't help himself but look inside the curious cave; it was almost like the strangeness of it absorbed him in. Alex stepped into the darkness. After a few minutes the darkness was rushed away from small torches that lined the walls. The fox burrow went on straight for quite a way, and then suddenly into nothing-ness, quick enough for Alex not to stop himself.  
  
It happened so quickly it took him a moment to realize that he has stepped off and was falling down some sort of very deep well. He seemed to defy some sort of gravity as he fell, for he was falling very, very slowly, which allowed him the time to look around him and see what he passed. Many a time he tried to flap his massive ivory wings, but whatever atmosphere he was in didn't allow it. As he flapped them, trying to gain some sort of balance, it was if they were even there, and that helpless feeling didn't leave Alex very comforted.  
  
The torches had slowly diminished, leaving the angel confused in the darkness, not sure of how fast he was falling or anything. Then they once again lined the well's walls, and their suddenness of being back made him a little dizzy. It was bizarre he was still falling all the less.  
  
One thing he noticed as he fell was the cupboards and dressers and other wooden furniture that also seemed to float and fall at different speeds. Most peculiar. Pictures of faceless people and documents and many other things were also there. A little jar labeled "Marmalade" floated past him, which he randomly grabbed and looked over. The angel laughed quietly, marmalade was a funny lubricant. However, the jar was empty, so the angel let go of it. Instead of falling below him, the little glass jar slowly drifted above him, which he followed with his eyes in confusion. How very bizarre this all was.  
  
And so Alexander continued to fall, and it seemed he would never stopped. He wondered if he'd fallen miles, and where this fall would take him. and how hard he'd hit the ground. With his wings utterly useless, he shivered slightly at the thought. He didn't think he was falling very fast, but one could never be so sure when sure strange things were going on.  
  
He'd been falling for quite a while now, and Alex had begun to get bored. He sighed quietly to himself and counted the things that he passed, like many mortals did on long car trips. After reaching a little over one hundred-seventy, he lost count and with another sighed, thought to him out loud, "I hope Cassiel won't worry about me. however long I'll be gone. And I hope he remembered to pick up Uriel after school." Cassiel had bad habits with that since his sleeping patterns were a bit erratic. The angel's thoughts drifted a bit before he was suddenly snapped from them.  
  
He rather gently hit the cold, marble ground, and found that he wasn't the least bit hurt. He glanced upwards the direction he had come, but it was completely pitch black. Besides, in front of him was another passageway, and his wings still failed to work. He saw the same fox again, scurrying down the hallway at a breakneck speed, still babbling how he would be late.  
  
There was a long line of lamps hanging from the ceiling, and many, many doors lining the walls. All of different shapes, sizes, and colors. Alex started walking down the hallway, simple because he had no other way to go. He inspected some of the strange doors, and wondered which would get him where, and if he'd get out here at all.  
  
Suddenly, he came across a small, wooden table with three legs right in the middle of the hallway. He looked down the passageway, which still continued on as far as he could see. Then he glanced at the random table quizzically, and shrugged. It was completely bare, excluding a small, golden key. Now, possibly this key could belong to any of these doors. but there had to be over a thousand doors in the hallway, and who had time to try them all?  
  
"Well. you do have time to try them all, Alex." he mumbled to himself, and picked up the key almost reluctantly. With a ragged sigh, he set off to see which door it fit. He'd try anything to get out of here.  
  
Many, many hours later, along with locks much too big, and much too small, he found one that fit just perfectly. He was so more than delighted and tired he could have cried. but the door was about a foot high. Now, Alex was about six and half feet tall and this tiny door would get him nowhere. Also to his despair, the door was right near the table, and those hours of toying with doors had been useless.  
  
Despite the futility of this, he knelt down and jabbed the key into the hole and opened the tiny door. Inside led to a lovely garden lavish in bright multi-colored flowers and fountains and little ponds and stepping- stones. Though this all seemed like one, big acid trip, Alex would have much preferred to be in there than the gloomy hallway he was currently in.  
  
He sighed and stood up, glancing around for anything that could possibly help him. His eyes noticed the table, and the two little food bits upon them. One was a small cake; angel food it looked like, with a tiny label in front of it that read, "Bite me." Alex thought this bizarre indeed, and rude, but disregarded anyway. Also, there was a tiny bottle with but a sip of purple liquid in it. Around the bottle's neck was another little label, but alas, was blank.  
  
Now, Alex was no idiot. Eating random food you may come across was just downright stupid. So he ignored the table for the moment and looked around, felt the walls. tried to find anything he could that could get him anywhere. This seemed so damn fruitless; he leant his back against the wall and sat on the floor. What was there to do? Finally, stubbornly, Alex stood and went to cake. Well, if the cake said 'Bite me', it probably did for a reason and might help him.  
  
Much like the door shindig, and ungodly amount of time went by before Alex again found his attempt had been useless. He had nibbled the cake, which made him grow a few more feet, keeping his wings the same size.  
  
Frustrated, he grabbed the small bottle, hoping that it would undo whatever the cake had. Much like he had hoped, the purple liquid made him shrink - until he was about eight inches tall, his wings still remaining same as always. He meeped and tried to get his wings off him (it was quite hard to breath being so small), digging frantically though his own feathers. He got through and gasped for breath, sitting lost and confused on top of the mountain of his wings.  
  
He glanced upwards at the three-legged table, where the bottle and cake still sat. Now that was so small, the table was very, very high and made him even more puzzled on what to do. At this rate he'd never get home.  
  
As he looked around, he was delighted to see a bit of crumbs on the floor. He hoped, so very, very desperately, that they belonged to cake as he got up and started to sprint towards them. A moment later, he was choked violently backwards by the weight of his wings, much like he was tied to a chain and could only go so far. He screamed in annoyance and stomped his little foot, then growled in aggravation and tried again.  
  
After so times of leaping forward, whining, and clawing at the crumbs, he finally got one. Exhausted, he stared at it for a moment and frowned. It was on the floor, and after all the time he'd spent trying to get the stupid thing it was a bit over the five-second-rule.  
  
Perturbed about this little drawback (Who knows what hangs around the floors of this freak place?) he took a ragged sigh, and nibbled on the little crumb. Much to his rapture, like it had before it made him grow - and back to his normal size. His wings however, grew as well to the same ratio they were when he had been tiny. Alexander winced as his huge wings were crammed in the hallway, through door holes and bent awkwardly. He twitched, tried to get himself comfortable, and made sure that at least he could breathe. As awkwardly as before, he spread out his wings, and got them to take up most of the length of the hallway.  
  
After a moment of trying to think, the angel glanced back upwards found that this time, along with the empty bottle and bits of cake, was something else. Only this time it was alive. A man, with long indigo locks that hung to his waist, sat grinning sinisterly at Alex, baring two, vampric fangs. He sat even less innocently than he looked, spread-eagle, in his a bit overly tight, black slacks. The only thing about any of this that bothered Alex was that he looked exactly like his boyfriend, Cassiel.  
  
About such the resemblance, the only difference from Cassiel was that this man sported two orange tabby striped ears, and also a tail. He purred quiet, still grinning, and asked in a quiet, effeminate voice, "Alexander, I presume?"  
  
Perplexed, he nodded slowly; trying the figure out what (as Cassiel would say) in the bloody hell was going on, "Cassie?"  
  
The catman glared poisonously at him for a moment for regaining his cryptic, unfailing grin, "Of course not, silly. I'm the Cheshire Cat. At your service of sorts."  
  
"If you're at my service, get me the hell out of here," the angel snapped, standing up. (Or at least trying to through all of his feathers.)  
  
The 'cat' glanced away for a moment and stopped grinning, as if in deep thought. A moment later, he turned back to Alex, tilted his head, and grinned, "Nope, sorry, can't help you, love."  
  
"Argh! Then what's your purpose?"  
  
"Besides bothering you with cryptic remarks and insults," he paused for a moment and grinned wider, "And complementing your so very, very nice body - I'm here to help. If you have questions, ask them, I'm sure you'll get answers."  
  
Alex, slightly flustered at the comment about him, ignored everything else to the best of his ability and sighed, "Fine. How do I get out of here?"  
  
He rolled his eyes at the angel and sighed, "Silly, I already told you I couldn't help you with that."  
  
For a moment, he was rather happy that his green hair lay lank in his face; it hid his expression so slightly, which projected he was going to kill someone soon. If only he could move. "Okay... how do I get out of this hallway?"  
  
"Cha-ching, you learn fast." Nodding approvingly, the Cheshire Cat retrieved a little bottle, much like the one on the table, with the same sickly purple substance in it. Alex was slightly perplexed at the fact that the Cat seemed to have pulled it out of nowhere. "Kudos, Alexander."  
  
He was still slightly bothered on why this man knew his name, (Maybe he really was Cassiel, Alex thought.) but he listened rather obediently as he was told not to move. (Not that he could, anyway.) The cat hopped gracefully off of the table, bottle in hand. Alex twitched so slightly as he was approached, for the cat was still grinning and it was rather disturbing.  
  
Cheshire took the cork from the bottle and dipped his finger in. Alex noticed for the first time that his fingernails were not nails, but rounder feline claws about the same length as Cassiel's - which were a good three inches. He ran the finger down and over the muscle of the wings, making Alex twitch somewhat violently. Much like he had, his wings shrunk. Unfortunately, when he thought they were the right height, they continued to shrink. To his horror, they stopped around the size they'd needed to be when he was tiny.  
  
Snickering evilly, the catman stepped debonairly to one side and Alex leapt at him. That continued for a few minutes until the angel leapt at him, and would have pinned him down if he hadn't completely disappeared. Alex spun around, glancing around desperately for where he had gone - his wings couldn't stay like this. A moment later, catching him off guard, a clawed hand grabbed his shoulder and yanked him backwards. He fell backwards onto the Cheshire Cat, would perhaps was holding him a bit to tight around the hips as he popped the bottle into Alex's mouth. He let go of Alex as he stumbled forward, and disappeared again.  
  
The bottle clanked loudly on the tile floor as it fell from his mouth. The only reason, however, that he'd dropped the bottle was that his mouth was suddenly much too small for the bottle to fit. He was shrinking, and fast.  
  
Fin - Chapter 1 


End file.
